Crisis on Infinite Chelseas

I'm going to admit this. I quite like Avram Grant.

Like everyone else I was devestated when Jose left. It's like that episode of the Simpsons when Lisa falls in love with Dustin Hoffman's Subsititute teacher and he leaves at the end. Anyway, enough of my private hell.

I thought Mr Grant would be a disaster. I even e-mailed baker and kelly to let them know that every time I saw him it reminded me of Henry Kissinger dropping his glasses in the toilet in the Simpsons.

But he's hung in there, he's made some quite funny comments, in avery muted sharp fashion.

All of a sudden out of nowhere.

CRISIS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CRISIS OH MY GOD!!! CHELSEA lost the CARLING CUP or whatever the fucking thing is called now.

Let's face it, Spurs being the low down desperate tarts they are wanted to win ANYTHING so badly that they would have beaten their own Jimmy Greaves to death to do so.

Not even when playing their fiercest rivals could arsenal give a damn so they fielded a bunch of 9 year olds.

Chelsea lost because Cech made a mistake. He probably felt sad at the sight of the clamouring horror of sweaty little spurs their eyes glistening with tears that they would fail YET AGAIN.

Chelsea are so much of a crisis that they nailed West Ham to the floor in twenty minutes. Then played a large portion of the match with 10 men and The Hairdressers favourite Ashley Cole scored!

So no crisis.

In other news.

Newcastle. I've seen them quite a bit recently, you can call into question my credibility but they don't look terrible for the first half at least. Not brilliant, but not out and out shit. Going forward at least. They do die like dogs in the second half but there you go. I might even go as far as say they were unlucky. Michael "Finished" Owen managed to spoon about four chances. So clearly it's over for Owen.

This is sarcasm. I doubt that it's over. He's like Doritos, Once he's started, the only way to stop him is critically injure his ligaments. Or something.

More news.

Leeds won a game. Away! Now all we need is for the court to overlook things and promotion ahoy.