1: Arsenal = Heroin
2: Manchester United = C-C-C-C-Cocaine!!!
3: Chelsea = Barbituates (In Brackets it says "sedative", hardly what Avram wants)
4: Everton = Alcohol
5: Liverpool = Methadone (They aren't really a substitute for Arsenal are they)
6: Aston Villa = Ketamine (In the old days I could have done a horse tranquilizer gag)
7: Manchester City = Benzodiazepines
8: Blackburn = Amphetamines
9: Portsmouth = Tobacco
10: West Ham = Buprenorphine
11: Spurs = Cannabis (Well they do spend season after season in a funk)
12: Newcastle = Solvents (could implode at any minute)
13: Boro = 4-methylthioamphetamine
14: Bolton = LSD (A more unlikely match could not be found)
15: Wigan = Methylphenidate
16: Sunderland = Anabolic steroids (would make sense, The mood swings)
17: Reading = Gamma 4-hydroxybutyric acid (GHB, Certainly out of it this season)
18: Birmingham = Ecstacy (No)
19: Fulham = Poppers (Apt, now they've won a game)
20: Derby = Khat
These are all inspired by the enlightening Horizon programme I saw last night.
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