Number 6: No Referee

No Referee

At least half of all coverage of football revolves around the decisions a referee gives rather than something a player actually does. Penalties, disallowed goals, sending offs are pored over endlessly as if constant scrutiny will change something. It’s become a crutch for all concerned, managers and players can blame refs’ dodgy decisions when they don’t win and gives Hansen and co a good five minutes each week when a game is boring. This suggestion will remove that safety net. Getting rid of the referee will leave a vacuum that will have to be filled, and the results may even be scientific. Will the players govern themselves still adhering to the rules laid down or will they go the way of Lord of the Flies and daub themselves in war paint and commit only two footed challenges. We could have in depth anthropological and psychological analysis from scientists sat along side Mark Lawrenson! “I believe that Camara is exhibiting signs of an inbuilt precognition system, a sixth sense if you will” says Dr Amberson of Whatever University. “I thought he was offside” says Lawrenson. The very idea has the potential to turn football on its head. Fancy teams with lots of money would suddenly find themselves overrun by teams from the lower leagues unable to cope with the barbarism. The knowledge that could be gained is boundless.